Because I am coming down off of the wedding high and still very much in sap mode, and also feel the need to add my two cents to the deluge of wedding/love advice on the internet for all the people who aren’t 22 and starry-eyed but still feel like embarking on the journey that is wedded life, and also because I’m trying to get back into the swing of regular blogging and this is an easy post, I thought I would share the vows I wrote — and the words I wish I wrote.
The ceremony was simple, short, and pretty stock. (I’m a fan of brevity. Which is why I love Twitter still.) To round it out, I asked the officiant to read this poem by Neil Gaiman, which speaks to love as someone who has been in love and watched it die and dared to bother with the whole mess again. As such, it means a whole lot more to me than the promises in the vows; I’ve heard, and said, those before, and know they hold no special power in and of themselves. I’m sure few younger/less experienced people would ask for this poem to be read at their weddings. But from where I stand, it’s beautiful. And I’d say that even if Neil hadn’t written it.
For the first dance, I chose The Book of Love (the Peter Gabriel version; the original is awfully…morose). Lyrics are linked above and, I think, pretty self-explanatory. It’s the sweetest, most true song about love (not lust, but the real deal) that I know.
Having shared all of those words, here are mine. Because of course my vows were in list form. Only they’re not really vows so much as a few of the many, many reasons I married the man.
- I love that you buy me just-because flowers.
- I love that you listen to me ramble — or at least pretend to listen — when I’m talking through something.
- I love that you repeat things I’ve said back to me, because it proves that you are at least sometimes listening.
- I love that our goals and values are so closely aligned.
- I love that you support my goals even when you don’t share them.
- I love that you remember to water the plants when I forget, and where I parked the car, and that you check if the front door is locked before we go to bed because you know I’m going to ask.
- I love that you make me take me time, and remind me that sometimes I need to buy things for myself, too.
- I love watching you play with the kids.
- I love doing things as a family — playing games, going on outings, or just snuggling in bed watching Wreck-It Ralph for the 50th time.
- I love that you are so good at fixing what’s broken, be it a garbage disposal, a computer, or a car.
- I love that we laugh. Every day.
- I love our life. And I can’t wait to see what we do next.
I also gave him this necklace, with our initials and the date stamped in the back. It’s an inside reference, this necklace. When we were first dating, he gave me this plush heart from ThinkGeek. A week before the wedding, I saw this pendant and realized it would be the perfect gift for him. And Wendy, bless her, made it happen with half a week to spare. Go order things from her. She does great work.
So…it wasn’t your ordinary wedding. But it was very much us. And that was the goal.