It seems like yesterday (and also a lifetime ago) that I was staring, awe-struck, at the little person who’d been growing in my belly for the better part of a year. The baby I’d waited my whole life to have. I can still feel the weight of her in my abdomen, and the comparative lightness of her in my arms. So very tiny, so very perfect in every way — as a c-section baby, she didn’t have that squished head, and she emerged with nary a red mark, a pimple, or blemish of any kind. She was a porcelain doll of an infant.
Until she got angry — and angry she was. I had expected this, given her in utero punches and kicks. But I could not have prepared for the reality.
But mostly she was content. She laughed when she was four days old. She returned my gaze with wonder of her own. She studied everything, and absorbed it all.
I remember all of this, and more. The smell of her hair. The feel of her impossibly tiny fingernails. The soft weight of her cheek pressed against my breast. All of this is as clear to me as my most recent breath.
My angel face is a growing girl now (grown, she insists). She dances, and draws, and sings. She rubs my shoulders when I am tense, and rocks her little brother when he skins his knee. She lives fiercely, with everything she has. She is a force of nature, and I have spent the past 6 years swept up in her wake.
I can’t wait to see where we go next.
Fall is coming. It’s not here, but I see it off in the distance. I’m so ready.
More Goosebumps. I feel like I should create a reading ritual with Kai, too, so his books aren’t left out.
Not much this past week. I’ve been swept up in wedding planning and birthday prep, and taking on extra work besides.
More Kesha than I ever expected.
This week, it’s anniversary party time. My parents have been married 48 years. Forty. Eight. Years. Doesn’t leave much time to plan a 50th bash. But in the meantime, I have cake to bake.
September. Fair season. I love September. Part of me really wanted to get married in September. But as slow as I have been in putting everything together, I’m glad I opted for November.
Making me happy:
I can fit into my wedding dress again. I don’t have to go wedding dress shopping! Such a relief.