So this is Christmas

I’m not ready for Christmas to be over yet. I feel weird saying that, because I’ve done nearly everything I set out to do this season. I baked. Shopped. Anya and I made a gingerbread house. I sent out cards, cookies. We took photos in front of the tree, watched Christmas movies, listened to Christmas music, decorated the house. We visited with Santa. We made it to Zoo Lights and Starry Nights, and with a little meteorological luck may even get to see Snowy Nights. We didn’t get to go to the parade, but otherwise my holiday celebration list has a check next to each item.

But I’m not done with Christmas yet. It’s gone too fast. I want more.

Perhaps it’s a product of getting older, my sense that the season has flown by. Because otherwise time is seriously dragging. I slog and slog, and make no progress for my slogging. Still unemployed, broke, stuck, and running out of hope. I know that things will change, because things always change; I just wish they’d hurry up and change already, because the suspense is killing me.

Christmas, though, was not one of the things I wanted to hurry up. I need more comfort and joy, dammit. You can never have too much of those.

Anyway. On to the goal update.

December’s goals

Celebrate. I seem to have covered this pretty well already. We went to Starry Nights this week. I had given up hope of making it this year, so that was awesome. I’m sad that they didn’t have the big ball, though — the one that rolls down the hill and hits the tree. That was always my favorite part. But we had a wonderful carriage driver who was just great with Anya, so that was nice. Kai was a little freaked out by the horses, and a bit confused by the whole situation. He seemed to enjoy it more last year.

I still would like to go to Snowy Nights, but I don’t know if that will happen. If not, well, I still feel like I got a decent amount of celebrating in. Certainly more than we did last year. And nobody puked! That’s an automatic improvement.

Meditate. I haven’t been using the Calm app every day, but I have been meditating every day, at least for a few minutes. It’s really helping. And when things get really bad, I pull out the app. It never fails to soothe my nerves.

Write. Not this week. Work has been crazy. So the book isn’t getting finished this year. No big; it’ll happen.

Eat better. This week? Ahahahahaha. This week has been cookies and cookies and cheese and crackers. It’s fine, though. I will enter the new year bloated and queasy and craving vegetables. Nothing like a holiday to kick-start my motivation to eat healthier.

Review, evaluate, and plan. Health insurance is squared away. Now I just need to sort this office, get my tax stuff together, do the shredding and filing. And dust and vacuum, because I can barely breathe in here these days.

I’m also thinking ahead to next year’s resolutions. I want to continue the meditation, of course. I would like to add yoga; I know it’s not cardio, but my back is so freaking sore that I think the yoga is more important right now. Also, I can do yoga inside — a big plus this time of year. I just have to get the Wii hooked back up. And the living room cleaned, of course.

I’m also kicking around the idea of resolving to eat a piece of fruit a day. Sounds silly, I know. But I hate almost all fruit, so it’s a bigger deal than it seems. I just feel like such a hypocrite, insisting my kids eat fruit while I’m sitting here trying to convince myself that drinking a glass of juice counts as a serving of fruit. I’m never going to get them to do something I won’t do myself. That’s not how children work.

And, well, I took a health questionnaire for my health insurance, and I’m just so stinking healthy. If I don’t get hit by a bus, I could make it to triple digits. Especially if I chill out, up my exercise, and trade my cookie for an apple.

But that’s all a week away. For now, it’s cookies and blankies and lights and snuggling with my fam. Merry Christmas! See you on the flip side.


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