The price of a cup of coffee

“When we are happy we are always good, but when we are good we are not always happy.”

– Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

Today’s Moment of Happiness there, from Gretchen Rubin. And a very fitting quote, considering how one day threw me off the rails. I started the week with a clean(ish) house and a normal(ish) sleep schedule. After yesterday, Anya’s first day of school, I

  • drank two cups of coffee
  • went out in the insane heat, to a store that barely felt air conditioned
  • ate a huge dinner
  • came home and napped until 8 pm
  • stayed up until after midnight
  • woke at 4 a.m. and accidentally woke Kai, who was up til 6
  • napped until 10

And here we are. The house is a wreck, I’m behind on my work, my desk is piled with papers, and I feel overwhelmed again. I blame the coffee.

No, seriously. Coffee amps me too high; that’s why I drink green tea. With the coffee plus yesterday’s heat and a rich dinner, I soared, then crashed. Because of the nap, I didn’t get to sleep at a decent hour or stay asleep. So I had to get my 7 hours of sleep in installments.

Yesterday was Anya’s first day of school. It was overwhelming for both of us. She cried. I felt like crying, but contained myself. I think ultimately she will have a good time and be glad she went, which is why I am sending her, but there’s still that voice in the back of my mind begging me to homeschool her. I waited nearly 40 years to have this baby, dammit – I am not ready to hand her off to someone else all day, every day, for the next 14 years.

I am about to start work for my new freelancing client. I feel really good about it. It’s not magazine work (I am really loving my mag gig, and am trying desperately to find others that will hire me), but it’s for a magazine-type publication – no verifying 200+ references! And it pays pretty well, considering. So there’s that. Once I get Anya into a regular school schedule, things should settle down a bit. I’ll have time to hunt for work more aggressively.

In the meantime, I should do what I have to do to get by, and spend the rest of my time with her. Indoors, though. The heat index right now (10:40 a.m.) is 116 degrees F.

Which means I should really get started on this work.

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