Dating after children

Wednesday night, R and I went out on our first date in about 4 years. Dating when you have children bears little resemblance to dating before children.

Dating before children

Shower, shave. Apply “evening” makeup. Spend 45 minutes straightening hair with a flat iron.

thehair.gif

Try on several outfits; pick the one that makes your legs look best.

tights.gif

Slip into your highest heels.

heels.gif

Sparkly earrings are a must.

sparklyearrings.gif

An extra coat of lipstick never hurt.

lipstick.gif

Grab handbag and go.

fancypurse.gif

Snag a quick bite while discussing work, current events, and the evening’s plans.

simseat.gif

Arrive at ultimate destination of movie/club/party.

drank.gif

Stumble home somewhere in the pre-dawn hours and collapse into bed, dozing off as the sun comes up.

bed.gif

Dating after children

Pre-date day prep: Spend two days preparing children for being left with sitter. Guide them through the stages of grief. Promise to return with presents.

toys.gif

Settle kids with sitter. Feel alternately good and bad about their nonchalance at being left behind.

stillhere.gif

Decide nobody can see your stubble. Dust on a little powder. Twist hair into a bun.

smoothhair.gif

Put on your all-purpose job interview/date/funeral LBD. Add gut-squishing panties to rein in your postpartum pooch.

momdress.gif

Wear flats instead of sneakers, in honor of the fact that you won’t have to chase anyone tonight.

runducky.gif

Kid-friendly earrings are a must; ending the evening with a ripped lobe would be a bummer.

duck earrings.gif

Slap on an extra coat of balm. Fancy!

balm.gif

Grab backpack/diaper bag that is your current handbag and go.

mompurse.gif

Spend two hours eating dinner, while talking about children and how nice it is to eat without them for once.

couple.gif

Note every thing about the dinner that the children would love. Realize you really kind of miss the children. Go guilt shopping for presents for children.

worrying.gif

Return home. Get the children to sleep, then collapse, dozing off as the sun sets.

sleepchair.gif

 

Okay, the above isn’t entirely representative of our evening. We did discuss things other than the children at dinner. But only because we were talking about our wedding. (I proposed; he accepted. Which came as no surprise, as we’ve been discussing getting married for several years now. But now we’re actually planning on it sometime in the foreseeable future.) But otherwise, that about sums it up.

It worked for us, though. Maybe we can do it again in another four years!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s