We’ve reached kind of a crisis point with Anya. She was never the best listener, but now she’s automatically saying no to everything on principle. Being generally wild and crazy and out of control. Throwing huge screaming hissy fits at the slightest disappointment. It’s like we’re revisiting Kai’s newborn days, when she was feeling displaced. I’m not sure where it’s coming from, but I am trying to approach it with patience and calm reassurance.
Note that I said I’m trying.
Lately, the only way to get her attention is to yell. I’m very tired of yelling. It’s just not my thing. But it’s not just the volume that’s the issue – it’s the tone. Nothing shows you how you sound like listening to a kid imitate you. And some cringe-worthy things come out of my daughter’s mouth sometimes. I hate that this is how I sound to her.
So like I said, I’m trying a new approach. We meditate most days. And I talk to her about these outbursts after the moment has passed, when we are in a calm, loving place (usually snuggled up together in bed). But I need to do more. I need to take the time to be with just her, when I am not distracted by Kai, so that she doesn’t feel she has to act out to get attention. And I need to get a handle on my own reactions, so that in the moment I can reach out calmly and stop her from doing what she shouldn’t.
I also need to take the time to fill my own cup, so that I do not stretch myself so thin that I lose my temper. (This is the hardest part for me.)
While he does not always comply, Kai has started giving me hugs and kisses when I ask. It is the sweetest damn thing.
I am actually four chapters into A Man Called Ove. The kids are a little freaked out that I can read silently. And they don’t know why I would read something with no pictures.
Nearly caught up with Bones. Next up: Doctor Who. I’m a couple of series behind.
I’m currently cleaning up my Spotify playlists (more on that later) to better tailor them to their intended purposes.
Making a list of supplies to order for the next round of soap. Also, Anya wants to make balm. As we’re becoming overrun with soap, balm would be a welcome change.
I discovered that there is an arboretum near my home that I did not know existed. Once the ground dries up, I’m going to take the kids to check it out.
Making me happy:
Though it’s putting a crimp in my walks, this rain – and the cooler temperatures it brings – is most welcome.