Recently, a mom in one of my Facebook groups mentioned that she’s getting a lot of pressure to have a second child, which bugged her because she was pretty happy with one. I responded that you should only have a second child if you really want a second child, because having two kids is hard. And I say this knowing that I got a pretty easy kid the second time around.
I had reasons for wanting a second child. First of all, I really wanted another baby.* Secondly, Anya is lonely; as an only child, I remember what that felt like. I thought a sibling would do her good. And finally, as an only child with aging parents and a rather distant extended family, I just wanted more family of my own.
And I got everything I wanted, and it’s all as great as I had hoped it’d be. Doesn’t mean it’s not hard, though.
Like when they get sick. It never happens that just one of them gets sick. Oh, no. Because they don’t just lick the shopping cart or the table in the restaurant; they lick each other. And share food and drink, sure, but mostly I blame the licking. (And then they lick me.)
Also, just because I had them close together doesn’t mean there was less work this time around. I still had to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe for the little guy. His interests are different, so even though he plays with Anya’s old toys, we still need to buy him things that attract and hold his interest to fill the gaps left by Anya’s stuff. (He’s more into things he can interact with, and books. Her interests have always been more along the lines of clothes and accessories, makeup, and dolls. Even as a baby.) And we’re having to step up the babyproofing, because he is an explorer.
Anya wasn’t too hard to babyproof for. We ended up taking down a lot of the babyproofing after a while, in fact, because she just wasn’t that interested in the toilet, the fridge, or the stove. But Kai? Kai climbs. The other day, he fell off the toy box, upon which he was not just standing but dancing. Anya sat up there as a baby, but never stood on it. That problem was easily resolved – I simply took the lid off the toy box – but if he can climb on top of that, can the cabinets be far behind?
I’m not ready for this.
Now it looks like we need a bigger vehicle. We are four people, and two of us are under 4 feet tall. Yet somehow we require enough crap to necessitate a minivan when we go anywhere further than the grocery store. I do not understand. But here we are.
So yeah, having two kids is not something to take lightly. And three? Then you’re just outnumbered; I don’t know how parents of 3+ kids even get out the door.
But for me…I am so glad I had a second child. He makes me so very happy. Noggin bruises and all.
*This has not changed, but I have reasons for not having a third that far outweigh my baby fever. Still, I’m sad that I can’t have more. I never expected to feel that way.