Bloom, baby, bloom

Our April Bootcamp theme is Firm Roots, New Shoots! But one of the suggestions we discussed was bloom, baby, bloom – and that one speaks to me more.

I feel like I have been chasing my tail all year. Freelancing has been crazy, so I have not been able to make time for myself and my family. It’s understandable, I know. But not acceptable to me. Since there has been nothing I could do about it, I have made the decision to move away from this sort of freelancing load in the future. The magazine is one thing — that’s a few hours every other month, and easy to work in. But this other project is seriously eating into my time, and that’s different. If I were in a position to shift to full-time freelance in the near future, I’d continue to pursue projects like this – the more you do, the more you get, and that’s the name of the game in freelancing. But I am the breadwinner, and the one with the most stable job; we need me to keep it, for the stability and the benefits. So full-time freelancing is out right now. As such, R is looking at getting a PT job, which would allow me to phase out some of my extra work. And then I can spend more time on myself and my family.

I think that would help with the second issue to come out of March: Anya’s behavior. It’s seeming more clear that she acts up to get attention – even bad attention. When I spend more one-on-one time with her, her behavior improves. When I work so much that I barely have time to eat and bathe, she goes off the rails. So April will bring a renewed focus on spending mommy-daughter time.

Allergy is receiving some extra attention, too. Mine, of course, are a perennial issue. But Anya’s doctor feels that this persistent, raging illness of hers is the result of an uncontrolled allergy attack, which means I’m not working hard enough at controlling our triggers. Outside is, of course, out of my hands. :) But I could do more in the house. So I have added tasks pertaining to our bigger clutterpiles to the April menu. Clean, tidy, clutter free: These shall be ye watchwords.*

I’m hanging on to the recipe tracker because I have yet to hit my ideal home-cooked meal level. I’m really noticing, now that I am eating healthier, how much worse I feel when I eat junk. But I am still eating junk. I want to phase out the junk, for all our sakes. (But mostly my own, because junk and my bowels have awful fights these days, and Mommy gets to be a little selfish sometimes.)

And then there are the lingering tasks. The car. The retirement plans. That stuff. The list is at least getting shorter.

My daily goal for April is Embrace beauty. I am finding, now that I am focusing on incorporating pretty into my days, how a) I feel guilty for emphasizing something I’ve deemed frivolous, and b) how freaking happy it makes me when I feel pretty and surround myself with pretty things. A fascinating dichotomy that I am anticipating exploring in further detail in the coming weeks.

We don’t have any holidays, birthdays, or anniversaries coming up in April, but I’m thinking we will celebrate Earth Day – perhaps by planting a tree. For our family field trip, I’m leaning towards strawberry picking, and perhaps a return visit to the Botanic Gardens. Haven’t come up with themes for inspiring wonder in the kids, but I’m thinking about it.

Overall, though, my focus is less on getting things done, and more on blooming. I’m done growing for a bit – time to stop and revel in my growth so far. Bloom, baby, bloom!

 

*We may have to put R in a tiny house in the backyard. ;)

 

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