Shoulda coulda woulda

After spending much of last week trying to pull off several last-minute Christmas tasks, I finally stopped and asked myself why I was making myself nuts. Would the people I was killing myself to please even care if what I was doing did not get done? The answer, I think, is no. Would the absence be noticed? Again, likely not. And if it were noticed, it would at least be understood. So…why? Why am I doing this?

Because I felt I should.

Not that I need to, or even want to, but because I am afraid of what people might think if I don’t.

Much of the pressure I put upon myself is self-inflicted. I have always held myself to crazy high standards, and I have not improved with age. I’m getting worse, actually.

So…I’m dropping the ball this year. As an experiment. To see if the world keeps turning — and, when it does, if I can live with that.

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