A fellow Clogger recommended this article, and it’s given me some things to think about:
Love this article. It’s good advice to keep in mind when my daughter is pushing my buttons. My favorite quotes:
It is useless to fight against people’s rigid ways, or to argue against their irrational concepts. You will only waste time and make yourself rigid in the process. The best strategy is to simply accept rigidity in others, outwardly displaying deference to their need for order. On your own, however, you must work to maintain your open spirit, letting go of bad habits and deliberately cultivating new ideas. –Robert Greene, emphasis mine
My daughter is very rigid. And I deal with it badly because her rigidity directly affects me. It’s important to me to not fight with her, though, so I need to start working on my own fluidity.
Years ago, I dated a guy who loaned me some books on the Tao Te Ching. The part that stuck with me was how being soft is more powerful than being hard; the water will, over time, wear away the rock.
I have been working on my softness, but it’s easier said than done. Particularly when I am already stretched thin and my child digs in her heels over stupid things. Because we are both bull-headed control freaks, apparently.
In these moments, I need to learn to flow. Make her laugh. Indulge the whims I can. Or just get over myself. In the immortal words of Bob Seger,*
As you step out in the night, take a lesson from the trees
Watch the way they learn to bend with each breeze.
My second favorite quote from this article is this:
Like E.E. Cummings said, “To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else, means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.”
This feeds nicely into my Be Awesome goal. And it’s an example I would very much like to set for my children.
In the coming year, I want to focus on these concepts. Maybe I’ll have more luck with them than I have been with getting up before dawn.
*”Little Victories.” Because everything goes back to either Road House or a Seger song in my mind.